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You ever eat a McDonald's fry out of the little tiny corner of the box at the bottom? Tasty.

test thought

Is there anybody out there?

I would rather draw the line than cross it.

Everyone tells you that smoking will kill you. What they don't tell you is that is cures salmon.

Freddy Mercury is in retrograde

I've had a dirty spoon running in the dishwasher for a month. It's not that I'm lazy to clean it myself. It's just I believe so much in the next cycle.

I don't even like the last bite of my meal because it's almost leftovers

You ever look out the window of a flight coming back into your town and go..huh...I don't recognize any of this

Everyone wants to be a pioneer but no one wants to be a pilgrim

Do you have Je T'aime

I want to drive that little car in the back of a fire truck so bad

Regret is mindless. The choice you didn't take you're presuming would have been better.

You are what you eat and I'm a human

You look like you fell out of a good looking tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Most people use sick days backwards. They go to work when they're sick and they call out when they're healthy.

Having a yard sale and it's just pieces of turf on display

Most long stories aren't long they're just fake

I was watching the clock and couldn't decide which hand sucks the most - the second or minute

Your memory is decoded by the DNA of your intentions

hi there

what a surprise

A square will never admit all its sides are equal.

Is there an angle the triangle lobby isn't working?

My house keys and my dignity are constantly going missing

At this very moment, a pigeon is meeting the love of its life.

It all made sense for about a minute, then it fell apart

Water isn't wet, it just was dry to begin with

The times weren't better you were just young